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February 1999

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ADDICTION AND CO-DEPENDENCY

by Morag Campbell - PART 2

When we are dependent or addicted the very grounding of our life is missing. There is no joy, no ability to take pleasure in people, things or activities. There is an inability to master relevant parts of our environment coupled with a lack of confidence in our ability to make a difference for ourselves and others. We may be anxious, emotionally volatile with little control over the expression of our instinctual needs. There may be periods of self doubt, feelings of inadequacy and dependency plus a desire to escape from everything including ourselves. There may also be feelings of separateness and so a desire for interpersonal fusion. These feelings, which are common in adolescence, are the reasons why so many young people begin addictive trends at this time.

The inability to cope with the world and a high fear of failure leads the addict to seek out the repetitive sensations and rituals and routines , anything in fact that helps to avoid new situations and alleviate the need for decision making. The solutions to these problems depend on what stage the person is at when you first see them. If they are in the exhaustive phase of the fire cycle then you must find ways to build that energy so as to increase their vitality and encourage independence. Get them to find a vision or passion - a purpose to life. Also encourage them to acknowledge and express needs so that they feel nurtured.

It is extremely important that they get back in touch with their body and feelings.
Bodywork Examples:
Release work on solar plexus and thighs.
Release fire spiral on back of body.
Release holding in neck to get them in touch with feelings again and encourage expression maybe with perineal work.
Stimulate fire chakra

Once someone has entered the water phase of the cycle then try to build self esteem. ( Beware that therapy falls under the heading of someone doing something for them and risks encouraging co-dependency ) Get them interested in their own well-being. Stop the addictive cycle by breaking the pattern - you may have to be cruel to be kind. Put them back in control by utilising trance and non-trance states. Build their energy levels with bodywork and diet. Get them interested in new activities and encourage enthusiasm.

Get them out of the habit of comparisons - this is hard as our entire lives are based on comparisons and we have been conditioned to compare all the time. It is comparison that brings about the feelings of inadequacy and emptiness.

"Measurement and comparison is the essence of dependence. - To live without comparison means no dependence, no self sufficiency, no seeking, no asking. Therefore it means to love. Love has no comparison, therefore love has no fear" - Krishnamurti.

Bodywork examples:
Pelvic release work, such as perineal, to bring up feelings.
Six pointed star work to balance fire and water and harmonise the spiritual with the body.
Ether work to establish ego and re-connect with source and to encourage a safe space where the individual can be aware of the emptiness without trying to escape or condemn or evaluate it.
Meditation practice may be helpful as well Chi Kung.

TRANCE WORK

Consider the nature of the watery loop and memory states and patterns. These memories of states that we adopt in relation to trauma or learned responses mean that we hold the trauma psychologically as well as somatically. We know that tight muscles and particular breathing patterns "freeze" the experience in the body and this is where polarity can be so useful in releasing these patterns. As children the minds eye takes a picture of what we don't want to happen and we then view life through that filter- alter it by recalling a pleasurable experience, lengthen it, expand it, deepen it and bring it into the present time. ( We have many experiences some good some bad but we can learn from all of them, even the bad experiences can be good in some aspect )In co-dependency there is much age regression and positive hallucination (projection) that the adult child is constantly reliving the past in the present time. We impose pictures and voices over the present moment- Hallucinating what is not there. We are locked into the situation because of fear for our life or fear that we can not take care of ourselves. Keep focused in the present moment. For projection get them to focus on some part of you that attracts them whenever they start to project on to you, or get them to imagine that your face is a rubber mask, if you peeled it off, who do you see? Make the implicit -explicit.
Get them to create the hallucination several times so they get a sense that they are the creator of it not the victim. They take charge of it.

In addiction people elicit the deep trance phenomenon of Amnesia. They may also include disassociation, confusion and negative hallucination. In order for an addiction to endure the person has to blank out some portion of the outer world.For instance children of alcoholic parents blank out parents fighting or passing out through drink, they move to the safety of intrapersonal trance ( withdrawal into their own world) instead of interpersonal trance where they have to watch parent drink. However the drinking parent exists within the psyche and the childhood conflict of watching the parent drink becomes re-enacted in the adult watching herself drink. To cope with the conflict the old trance state is re-enacted. Addictive behaviour of any kind " I have to...." involves a narrowing and fixating of attention.

Practical:

Experience fully what happens as trance emerges ie: fogginess. Keep eye contact to keep them in the present. Expand the experience of negative hallucination ie: let the fog get more dense. Alter the structure of the hallucination, move it around, change its shape, size, colour, texture, smell. By increasing the changes you break out of the pattern of not seeing. Instruct to see what is not there. Different sensory experience from the habitual one. This stimulates resources formerly not retrievable. What else are you "not" seeing that "is" there.
[ Confusion is another trance phenomenon. This produces two polarised identities. "I want it my way" and "I'll do anything to please you". Both exist side by side. "I'll do anything" is designed to win love and approval. This creates an internal struggle.
We project one identity "I want it my way and you'll do anything to please me" -Bear. Or " I'll do anything to please you and you want it your way" - Wimp. Sometimes we flip between the two.
To stop confusion going on automatic try a neutral response
"I don't care if I do it your way or not" This diffuses and confuses again. Confusion can be a ruse to get you what you want ie: dumb blond. We may also use our intellect to present a state of confusion in order to present a facade of control or stability. This is done to defend against our own confusion.

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