ADDICTION AND CO-DEPENDENCY
by Morag Campbell - PART 2
The inability to cope with the world and a high fear of failure leads the addict to seek out the repetitive sensations and rituals and routines , anything in fact that helps to avoid new situations and alleviate the need for decision making. The solutions to these problems depend on what stage the person is at when you first see them. If they are in the exhaustive phase of the fire cycle then you must find ways to build that energy so as to increase their vitality and encourage independence. Get them to find a vision or passion - a purpose to life. Also encourage them to acknowledge and express needs so that they feel nurtured.
It is extremely important that they get back in touch with their
body and feelings.
Once someone has entered the water phase of the cycle then try to build self esteem. ( Beware that therapy falls under the heading of someone doing something for them and risks encouraging co-dependency ) Get them interested in their own well-being. Stop the addictive cycle by breaking the pattern - you may have to be cruel to be kind. Put them back in control by utilising trance and non-trance states. Build their energy levels with bodywork and diet. Get them interested in new activities and encourage enthusiasm.
Get them out of the habit of comparisons - this is hard as our entire lives are based on comparisons and we have been conditioned to compare all the time. It is comparison that brings about the feelings of inadequacy and emptiness.
"Measurement and comparison is the essence of dependence. - To live without comparison means no dependence, no self sufficiency, no seeking, no asking. Therefore it means to love. Love has no comparison, therefore love has no fear" - Krishnamurti.
Consider the nature of the watery loop and memory states and
patterns. These memories of states that we adopt in relation to trauma or learned
responses mean that we hold the trauma psychologically as well as somatically. We know
that tight muscles and particular breathing patterns "freeze" the experience in
the body and this is where polarity can be so useful in releasing these patterns. As
children the minds eye takes a picture of what we don't want to happen and we then view
life through that filter- alter it by recalling a pleasurable experience, lengthen it,
expand it, deepen it and bring it into the present time. ( We have many experiences some
good some bad but we can learn from all of them, even the bad experiences can be good in
some aspect )In co-dependency there is much age regression and positive hallucination
(projection) that the adult child is constantly reliving the past in the present time. We
impose pictures and voices over the present moment- Hallucinating what is not there. We
are locked into the situation because of fear for our life or fear that we can not take
care of ourselves. Keep focused in the present moment. For projection get them to focus on
some part of you that attracts them whenever they start to project on to you, or get them
to imagine that your face is a rubber mask, if you peeled it off, who do you see? Make the
In addiction people elicit the deep trance phenomenon of Amnesia. They may also include disassociation, confusion and negative hallucination. In order for an addiction to endure the person has to blank out some portion of the outer world.For instance children of alcoholic parents blank out parents fighting or passing out through drink, they move to the safety of intrapersonal trance ( withdrawal into their own world) instead of interpersonal trance where they have to watch parent drink. However the drinking parent exists within the psyche and the childhood conflict of watching the parent drink becomes re-enacted in the adult watching herself drink. To cope with the conflict the old trance state is re-enacted. Addictive behaviour of any kind " I have to...." involves a narrowing and fixating of attention.